"Its a conspiracy!" - OF claim from novel direction

As traditional a snow drops and easter eggs, spring-time brings with it the usual claims of bias against Celtic. From the intellectual powerhouse that is Bairds, the diocesan annexe, comes the traditional complaint that referees are dodgy when it comes to The Tic.


 Not to be outdone in the "infamy! Infamy! etc" stakes it is thought that Rangers will soon claim police bias against the club. In a week when Allan McGregor has had (ahem) some explaining to do bizzie-wise, a spokesgrayskull will tell The JT: 


"There's quite clearly an anti-Rangers bias at work in the local polis. There was time when a Rangers player's side of the story was taken on trust by the polis,wishing the player well on his way with a cheery salute after the player had autographed the officer's Rangers scarf. But now? Its no longer sufficient to just say "it was the Taig's fault". Now the police want evidence and everything."


We contacted Strathclyde's Chief Constable, Pope Pius X, for comment. he said : "Despite being dead for several hundred years I want to categorically  reject the  claim of Force bias against the Huns. 'Mon The Tic."

The Chief Constable of Strathclyde Polis, yesterday...