Fans can't "bear" it

as not only do the problems at Ibrox deepen but McCoist, faced with a weak starting eleven, is forced into some unusual loan deals.















Fans are also demanding a full inquiry, into why the whole tax issue couldn't be dealt with the traditional Rangers way- over a handshake at a lodge meeting.

Rolls Royce for Whyte!

And as Rangers prepare for administration and Mr Whyte heads for the door with a parting "so long suckers!", the club's marketing people start work on a new brand identity...

Yes indeedy...

Scottish women this week will be urged to cut down on alcohol consumption by reducing the size of the drink consumed. Wise words.
Meanwhile, back on Planet Earth, a wummun contacted by The JT said: "I can see how 300 cl of red poured into a 400 cl glass can look a tad excessive which is why I'm taking decisive action - and getting out the 800cl glasses."


In an attempt to scare wummen into drinking less, an app, whatever that is, will be available showing the effect of excessive consumption on a female's coupon.
Our source commented "leaving aside the obvious gag about the 'after'  shot looking better than I do at the best of times, I have been disturbed by the implications of that photograph, which is why I'm taking decisive action by hurriedly deleting it."

It is thought that to combat the toxic effects of alcohol on the body, the mind and the impulsive choosing of sexual partners, women are being advised to have two alcohol-free days a week - yesterday and tomorrow.

This is when you should really start worrying to be honest...

And despite

reportedly angry at being  made a scapegoat for the RBS fiasco, Just Plain Fred is said to be bearing up well, quietly helping his spouse run the family home...

You know

that expression  about having one's arse handed to one? As in being bested in discourse whether physical, psychological or intellectual? Yes, of course you do, you're smart like me.


Anyway, I caught this over the weekend on C4 news, a "debate" between Tory MP Harriet Baldwin and New Statesmen journo Laurie Penney on smacking kids. Now, wherever you stand on this issue I think we can agree that the look on Baldwin's face is a picture as the young scampette Penney plays dirty by insisting on using reason, logic and an evidence-based approach to discourse. 
What a wee bitch, you're needing a slap young lady...

While I concede

that the line between satire and the "real" world is often very fine, I can't quite get my head around how this makes any sense:

While I attempt to wrestle with the logical paradoxes involved why don't you go and enjoy Karl Wallinger explaining the history of the world in four minutes, fourteen seconds?
Of course, if he'd had to explain bank bonuses he'd have been at it yet...

Is it just me

or do you also think that this photo of John Swinney was taken at The Shows?

"Clear need to exercise restraint in difficult fiscal climate..."

"...whee!"