Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Its funny, possibly, because its true, probably... (From The BBC)

Richard Durkin wins 16-year laptop credit wrangle

 with HFC bank

Related Stories

A man has won a 16-year dispute over a laptop which he bought from the Aberdeen branch of PC World.
Richard Durkin claimed the HFC bank ruined his credit rating after he tried to pull out of a credit agreement when he returned the £1,499 computer.
Mr Durkin, 44, took his case to court and initially won damages of £116,000 but that ruling was overturned.The bank how now conceded liability and confirm that Mr Durkin will receive compensation via an online transfer of funds in around 5000 working days, subject to bank holidays.

Friday, 21 March 2014

Wait for it, wait for it...

MP Eric Joyce fined over Edinburgh Airport abuse

Joyce apologises and says he is embarrassed by his behaviour

Related Stories

Falkirk MP Eric Joyce has been fined £1,500 at Edinburgh Sheriff Court after admitting abusive behaviour at the city's airport.
He entered a guilty plea to one charge of breach of the peace when he appeared at Edinburgh Sheriff Court. Mr Joyce has yet to confirm if he can claim the cost of the fine on exes...

Thursday, 20 March 2014

Bannockburn Redux- Exploration promised on discourse around the concept of "fairness".

Coinciding with the reenactment of the Battle of Bannockburn in June, academics are converging on Stirling to discuss the concept of "fairness" in the context of medieval warfare. 

Professor Beaker, of Stirling's Department of Oh look! Isn't The Loch Lovely! Studies told The JT: "The conference will be looking at the idea of a fair contest within the cultural loci of medieval period fixed battles.

In particular we'll be looking at recent evidence that the Battle of Bannockburn was a somewhat one-sided affair. This is alluded to in an account of the battle attributed to the little known bard Short -Sighted Harry where he claims "and the English soldiers hard-pressed did call peasies but the Scots ignored their cries and did continue to twat them most vexatiously. And the English ranks did cry out "oohyah, that's sare yah bassturds!""

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

From The BBCish

Scottish independence: Debate

 not a credit to Scotland, says Swinney

John Swinney, Jackie Baillie, Tessa Hartmann and Michael FryThe TV debate panel gave their thoughts on the state of the independence debate so far
The debate on Scotland's future has not been a "credit" to the nation, the Scottish finance secretary has said.
Ahead of the referendum, John Swinney said there were six months to ensure the debate lived up to the values the Scottish Parliament was based on.
Speaking during a BBC debate, Labour's Jackie Baillie said the campaign had been "partially poisoned", with "a lot of heat" but "not a lot of light".
Ms Baillie called on politicians of all parties to play their part in raising the standard of debate before going on to land a forearm smash into Mr Swinney's jaw because "he was looking at me funny."
 Mr Swinney, pausing only to spit out three broken teeth, agreed that the debate had too often been marred by personal name calling.
 While systematically smashing Ms Baillie's face into the set desk, Mr Swinney commented: "Its too important an issue to have it diminished by ill-mannered abuse."
 Ms Baillie, launching the back of her head into Mr Swinney's face, wiped away the bloody remains of her nose and agreed that political culture was being demeaned by portraying the issues as a series of personal vendettas but invited the studio audience to agree that Mr Swinney was a "baldy twat".
 Mr Swinney, breaking a chair over Ms Baillie's skull pointed out to the audience that describing his Labour opponent as a "salad dodger with the key to the pie cupboard" was fair comment. Ms Baillie made her disagreement clear by punching Mr Swinney right in the nuts and at this point it all really kicked off...

Monday, 17 March 2014

"You'll have had your referendum."

Probably  down to gremlins working in the BBC photo library, but you'd think, in a feature reporting that Chick thinks the No campaign needs to be more positive, that  they could have come up with a slightly more cheery head shot... I mean if this is Chick looking "positive" WTF does negative look like? 

Thursday, 13 March 2014

Making The Best Of Things- Number 1

Ally McCoist and Lee McCulloch celebrate the massive achievement of Rangers winning the League One race.

Saturday, 8 March 2014

In your own time Plod...(From The BBC mainly)

Police have arrested five men in Scotland over a disturbance before the national football team's match against England at Wembley last year.
The Met said officers from its Public Order Investigations Team made two arrests in Glasgow, two in Dundee and another in Bonnybridge, near Falkirk.
All five men were bailed pending further inquiries.
The arrests relate to a fight in Maiden Lane, Covent Garden, involving supporters of both sides.
Officers from Operation Arrowtip, which investigates football related disorder, made the arrests on Wednesday and Thursday.
The men, who have been held on suspicion of violent disorder, are all aged between 19 and 27.
Supt Andy Barnes, who leads Operation Arrowtip, said: "Violence amongst supporters has no place in football, be it before, during or after a match.
"The vast majority of supporters who attended last year's England vs Scotland match behaved in the right spirit and this was an isolated incident.
"These arrests show that anyone who chooses to engage in violence will be pursued by officers and arrested."

Inspector Knacker of The Yard later told The JT:
" This marks only a very preliminary stage in our enquiries, we're also following up leads surrounding a very serious incident involving English  and Scottish fans at a place called Bannockburn in that Scotchland on or around June 1314.
We'll be sending out a very clear message that medieval violence between football supporters is never acceptable even if it happened 700 years ago." 

It is thought that the resources expended in tracing participants in a pagga outside a London boozer nine months ago means that unfortunately The Met will not be able to identify the one serving officer who didn't actively try to fit up the Lawrence family after their son was murdered 25 years ago.

Thursday, 6 March 2014

Naw, really? (Partially from The Skintsman)

Mr Climie later told The JT: "For drivers heading into Fife its very important that while on the bridge, not to be distracted from reflecting on the life gone past, the kindnesses shown and the hurtful words best left unspoken. 
This will spiritually prepare drivers for the imminent prospect of eternity being immediately twatted on the motorway by a brickie's Transit from Glenrolthes driven at 100mph by a one eyed haf wit eating a Greggs' bridie while making a roll up."

Inside: Welcome to Knockhill-where Fifers come to drive more slowly...