Wednesday, 17 February 2010

SPT scandal latest - now meets all satire requirements says JT editor in astonishingly long and drawn out headline.

A relieved Jaggy Thistle editor told himself today how relieved he was following the newest revelations in the Strathclyde Partnership (for) Transport (SPT) expenses scandal. "I'm relieved" he said. 

The editor expressed some concern a few days ago when the story of (ahem) "creative" expenses claims first surfaced. "Unfortunately at that point, the expenses were not specific in terms of purpose. In satiric terms there was a gap between the nature of the expenses and the organisational purpose of SPT."

Thankfully, revelations in The Herald have closed the satiric gap. It was revealed  today that a board member had claimed hunners for travel expenses! 

"With this new revelation, we can safely sit back and go 'Oh a big travel expenses claim lodged with an organisation charged with transport matters. How ironic!' or words to that effect".

The Herald report revealed that the board member had claimed for 35,000 miles of travel. To put this in perspective, that's the equivalent in distance terms of one and a half times round the Earth, and would take almost as long as going from Buchanan Street to Ibrox on the subway.

Inside : I see from The Herald report that the SPT delivers “transport solutions for all modes of transport across the region” 
As in  telling intending passengers: "your transport solution has just turned into a transport problem. Your train's cancilt due to huns on the line at Ibrox and the wrong type of snow underground."

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