Tuesday, 9 February 2010

Tiny, inconsequential fault found on "Amfibus"

The trial of Stagecoach's new amphibious bus service had to be halted this week due to a minor technical hitch. The not at all mental God botherer supreme and Stagecoach boss, Brian Soutar, told The JT: "It was nothing to worry about. One of the flotation devices that allow the vehicle to remain above the water's surface wasn't working. But it's all fixed now."

Top boffins contacted by The JT speculated on the impact the snag would have on the service's future potential.

Professer Beaker of Stirling's Department of "Sorry, am I missing something here?" Studies commented : "Given that a major part of the vehicle's working life would be spent on the water, it's not exactly reassuring for the potential travelling public that the bus would appear not to meet that particular part of the specification.

Undaunted however, Mr Soutar is calling for volunteers to play the role of passengers on the new "amfibus".

"I'll be calling on members of my own church's congregation to come forward. Secure in the knowledge of God's love and the promise of eternal life I'm sure my fellow congregants won't worry about the potential risk of drowning in a big yellow steel tube as it sinks the bottom of The Clyde.Praise him, praise him."

We contacted a weegie of a less existentially-confident persuasion to ask if he would volunteer to go on the amifbus, to which he replied: "Am I going on the amphibus? Amifuck."

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