Peter Kearney: Catholic Church media officer and first among morons

"Nobody knows the trouble I've seen."

And Jesus came among them, asking of them: "Is there one named Peter Kearney among you?" 

And one of their number rose and said "I am Peter Kearney, Lord". 

And Jesus asked of him: "Are you the Kearney who compared the treatment of Catholics in Scotland with the experiences of black Americans and their white comrades during the struggle for Civil Rights?" 

And Peter said to the Lord: "That would be me right enough Lord."

And Jesus shook his head in great sorrow and asked of Kearney: "Did your mother have any children that lived, numb nuts?"