And these stories just in...

This apparently was a real thing. Lard from a torpedoed merchant ship washed ashore at St Cyrus.
And guess what? Apparently its just as fuckin' disgusting now as it was all those years ago!
Honestly,Viz should sue.
 
Alex Salmond apparently happy to confirm that there were no Scottish casualties at the hostage-held Algerian oilfield. So that's alright then. This reassurance willl be closely followed by the provost of Perth reassuring locals that no one from Perth was involved. Even more closely followed by reassurance from Mrs McGlumphie of  Perth's Dundee Road that her Kevin isn't involved either because he's never been to Algeria.

Blair Jenkins, manager of the Yes campaign in the referendum thing, tells the BBC that most successful world economies are in small countries  Apart from China obviously, and Brazil and er, ooh Germany! Forgot that one as well. Work in your own appropriate variation on the "What have The Romans ever done for us?" gag here...

 While not one to intrude on private/public grief, the news that the leader of Glasgow City Council, Gordon Matheson was caught by the polis turning a private car into a public spectacle with a young gentleman friend does neatly coincide with another piece of news. 
That being that the proposed plans for George Square, all six suggestions in the current short-list, are likely to be binned. Surely Gordon could leap into the breech and suggest that George Square be returned to woodland, with shrubs and trees, ideal when looking for badgers...