Tuesday, 17 March 2009

Will Edinburgh's Trams start before the end of the world?

I wouldn't bet on it, no. Despite the manifest temptation to rip the piss out of our national capital over this matter, I've resisted the urge so far, mainly on the grounds that the saga is manifestly self-satirising. But then,ooh sweet temptation comes a-calling and what's a boy to do?

In today's Scotsman, a Mr Mike Connolly with some role in TIE, Edinburgh's tram delivery (sic) body concedes that :"We are not in a very good place at the moment because of the contract dispute with the (construction) consortium."

Not being in a very good place probably references the unfortunate state of affairs of work having ground to a halt. For those of you living in Foreign, the main impact of this is felt in the city's Princes Street which is closed to all traffic. To paraphrase that beloved Weegie taunt of old, in Edinburgh they no longer even have wan street fur shoaping.

But fear not, for Mr Connolly in no way desperately scrabbling at the bottom of a previously well-scraped barrel, went on to tell the paper that there was "a huge success story to be told" of the positive impact the trams would have.


So this is a huge success story to tell about a service that isn't actually in place is it?
Hmm, I'm not sure that one will fly Mike, sorry.

Inside: Gag about delay extracted from Noah's Joke Book, first edition.

"Many years ago, a young man puts a pair of boots in for mending and stores the ticket carefully in his wallet. Fate intervenes, before he can return to the shop, he is called away to foreign shores, a life of adventure and success.
An old man now, he returns to his home town and is surprised to see amongst the many changes, the boot repair shop still stands and is open for business. He goes into the shop and tells the great grandson of the owner he left the boots with his own story and, hands a little shaky, proffers the faded ticket to the young man behind the counter. The young man disappears into the back shop for a moment and then returns with the good news:"We've got your boots and we'll definitely have them ready a week on Monday at the latest!" "

Still no sign of a tram then?

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