Thursday, 12 March 2009

Chocolate, lovely chocolate

My SO and our Webmistress is not often given to sudden outbursts of hysterical laughter as her rigorous drug regime usually forestalls any such unwarranted jollity. So you can imagine my surprise when I heard just such an outburst issuing forth from my SO's rooms in the West Wing here at JT Mansions.

To her side I rushed, pausing only to check that the
temazipam dart gun was cocked and loaded, for hard won experience has taught me that if you don't get the first dart in quick she's off and away onto the roof in an instant, throwing slates at the garden staff and showing her bum.

Anyway, as it turned out I needn't have worried because I found her relatively calm and lucid, wiping away a tear of mirth from the screen of her lap top. "Look" she said, pointing to her laptop, "Isn't this the funniest thing you've read in ages?" And it was.

Courtesy of the BBC Scotland News website, I read that a Lanarkshire GP, mindful of the dietary impact of eating too much chocolate, was advocating a special tax to reduce consumption.

"OK" said my SO, gathering her thoughts about her like a downie made of thoughts, "in the first place, there is no such thing as too much chocolate, that's a medical impossibility." I nodded in agreement; I could
in all conscience and mindful of my own safety do no other.

"And B, er, that doctor can just fuck right off! I mean Christ, it's not as if women are obsessed with eating chocolate"

With all the major issues surrounding chocolate consumption resolved to her satisfaction, our webmistress turned her attention to more literary matters, perusing her new copy of "Chocolate Bar Monthly" while I fell into a reverie doubtless prompted by discussion of matters chocolate. My mind drifted back, across the years to a simpler time. To September 2004 to be precise when the webmistress and I undertook A Great Tour of Europe that only included Bruges because we were skint.

So come with me now as I recycle, sorry I meant to write "re-visit", The Grand JT Tour of Bruges. Warning: contains multiple references to chocolate and chocolatey language:

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