Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Health Warning - don't eat stuff just lying about

Following the toxic shock experienced by "Horse Whisperer" author Nicholas Evans after eating wild Moray mushrooms, scientists have warned visitors not to just eat stuff they find lying about.

A spokespipette told The JT: "The general rule of thumb should be - if it's just lying about it's probably not safe to eat. Because if it was, someone else would've already eaten it before you got there."

The same impeccable logic applies to
wild rhubarb: "Wild rhubarb is just too freaky looking, you'd be fuckin' insane to eat something that looks like a Triffid." And brambles growing at the roadsides are also to be avoided, "These berries have absorbed so many particulates from car exhausts that the fruit's genetic structure has been modified. You don't eat the bramble, the bramble eats you."

Apparently this Evans bloke has sold 10m books. Christ, you'd think he'd have a few quid around to go to the shoaps fur food back and furrit...

Inside: This is true. The BBC Scotland feature on this has a picture of the Horse Whisperer author with a caption that reads: 
"Nicholas Evans was said to be stable in Aberdeen Royal". Horse, stable, arf.

If you try stewing these, they'll have your arm off....

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