"There has been a lot of ill-informed speculation in the press over the last few days over remarks I was alleged to have made to The Guardian newspaper regarding my relationship with Wendy Alexander.
I wish, before dealing with the substance of this speculation, to reiterate strongly my respect for Ms Alexander both as a person and a politician. As to the central allegation, that I described Ms Alexander as "not likeable at all" my remarks were taken grossly out of context. I can only assume that the editing process garbled my comments, since the interviewer had actually asked where I was going for my holidays this year, to which I replied "Knuttlik äbill Atoll", which is a well known island in the South Pacific originally owned by Sweden.
I trust this clarification settles the matter once and for all or until I'm forced to make yet another statement in about 20 minutes."
The Right Honourable Alistair Darling MP is the Chancellor of The Exchequer, at the moment.
Inside: Can you imagine the next time Wendy and Alistair meet? Fuck me, talk about awkward...