Wednesday, 13 August 2008

Festival train plan, "exciting", "innovative", "suicidal"

Organisers of The Edinburgh Festival are pressing First Rail Scotland to run trains all night from the capital to other Scottish cities. "It would be just such an exciting concept" one Festival luvvie told The JT, "just think how much opportunity there would be to use the trains themselves as performance venues. Just think how much late night passengers would appreciate radical new interpretations of Brecht, Ibsen and those other blokes what write plays."

Not wishing to put a dampener on this idea or anything, a spokesticketpunch for the train guard community told The JT: "Given the refreshed state of the average travelling member of the public on the last train out of Waverley at the moment, I wouldn't be putting on any plays if it was me, to be honest. If you were lucky you'd get the piss ripped right out of you, if you were unlucky then you might be starring in your very own "Murder on the Queen Street Express" if you catch my drift..."

Inside: This is true. Apparently organisers of the Festival are unhappy about the sparse number of Scots living outside Edinburgh who attend the events. Er, right. What about the sparse numbers of Scots living in Edinburgh who attend the events?


CRPB said...

I could see lots of other applications for this idea. What if, for example, Glasgow swept up Sauchiehall Street every night, and put them on a train to Edinburgh? Wouldn't that be a good thing for Glasgow? Or maybe run them into the wall at Platform 9 3/4 and send them on the steam train to Mallaig? Or...

Craig said...