Sunday, 31 March 2013

Morning, afternoon and evening all..

After seemingly coming out with a public pronouncement every fuckin' day for fuckin' weeks, the new head of the unified police service, Steve House, confirmed the worse to The JT:

" As a young boy, I vaguely remember watching Dixon of Dock Green on one of those TV nostalgia shows that C4 used to do because it was cheaper than doing real programmes.
 I remember thinking at the time that when I became head of Scotland's unified police service, after being knocked back  for the Met Commissioner gig, I'd copy Sergeant Dixon's example, standing beside the blue light of the station  although  you couldn't see it was blue obviously, because the world was in black and white then, and...where was I? Oh Yes, Dixon would say something wise and reassuring to the watching millions. So that's what I'll do."

It is thought, that Chief Constable House will appear on our screens every evening to declaim on the merits of a unified police service and how that's the way English and Wales should go, especially those bastards at The Met who blocked his rightful assent to the top gig. He told us:
"If England and Wales go for a unified service then its only right and proper that the service appoint a leader with a proven track record in running a unified command." 
At this point Mr House casually fanned himself with a newly-updated copy of his cv.

Mr House who has had no discernible connection with Scotland in the past, has assured The JT that he will not feel too home sick for England:" I've already been in touch with the network of English professionals who lead virtually every major Scottish institution and we'll be getting together every  Friday night on our way home: meeting up at  the domestic departure gate at Edinburgh waiting for the Heathrow flight to be called."

"Course, everyone know I should've got the top job at The Met, fackers carved me up didn't they? But don't you worry my sahn. Day comes when there's a unified service, I'll walk back into NSY and say :right you cahnts! Look whose back!"

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