Sunday, 24 March 2013

Fromish BBC Scotlandish

First Minister Alex Salmond has said he wants to face Prime Minister David Cameron in a TV debate on Scottish independence. With the contest being decided over 5 rounds, best of three falls, a knockout or one submission.
The SNP leader was speaking on BBC One's Andrew Marr show from his party's conference in Inverness. He told The BBC: "I'm tired of Cameron, or Lord Snooty to use his ring name, telling grapple fans that I'm not good enough to fight for his title belt. He's a  cowardly, pantywaist nancy boy."

The electorate in Scotland will be asked to vote yes or no to independence in a referendum on 18 September 2014. The first of the televised catch-weight contests will be shown on Saturday afternoons, between the 2pm from Tadcaster and tractor racing from Taunton. 

Mr Salmond accepted there would be a number of TV showdowns, but he thought the first should be with Mr Cameron. When asked by interviewer Eddie Mair whether he would debate with pro-union head Alistair Darling, he said: "My first mark is David Cameron the Prime Minister. I fully intend to use my trade mark drop kick style and forearm smashes to knock him out of the ring where he will crash into Ken Walton's commentary position"

It is thought Mr Salmond's battle with Mr Darling will come later in the campaign, with Mr Darling deploying his trademark "eyebrows of mystery" tactic - seeking to hypnotise his opponent prior to hitting him over the head with a chair.

The fairer sex will be represented by Nicola Sturgeon reprising her classic character Suzi Quattro, complete with gold bomber jacket and leather trousers. 
She told The BBC: "Anyone who takes me on better know they've just bought a ticket to Devil Gate Drive"

A spokesmemberofthepublic told The JT: "I fully understand that the wrestling concept is being used to highlight the fact that we're looking at another 18 months of unrelieved  referendum-related tedium, but I would like the wrestling back to be honest. I mean it might have been fixed but at least it was entertaining."
Apparently, in her wrestling days, Nicola was known as "Gnasher", can't think why.

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