The Celtic manager Neil Lennon has conceded that he is unlikely to receive a helpful ruling on the conduct of the Spanish referee during last Tuesday's uber-gubbing at the hands of Juventus.
He told The JT :" I can't expect UEFA to rule on the ref's conduct, far less order a replay, that's why I'm now calling in Superman."
It would appear that Neil has watched the first of the Superman films where Superman reverses the earth's rotational spin, thus reversing the flow of time.
" I will be asking Superman, in the guise of mild mannered reporter Clark Kent, to don his Superman outfit and return The Earth to just before 7.45pm Tuesday last so we can get another chance at losing."
It is not known at the time of writing, whether the man of steel is sufficiently Celtic-minded given that he wears a lot of blue...
The two players most involved in the now infamous wrestling matches in the penalty box, Celtic's Hooper and Juve's Lichsteiner, are now practising breaking chairs over people's heads and forearming the referee by mistake, prior to taking on the ghosts of Jackie Pallo and Mick McManus in a tag match sure to be loved by all grapple fans.
Back in Parkhead, Neil continued to insist that there is clear evidence on a DVD that the referee ignored the wrestling. Neil also has video footage that clearly show President Kennedy being shot by the wife.
Inside:One is reminded of Strachan's response to the reporter asking him in what areas had Middlesbrough been better than his then club.
"What areas? Mainly the big green bit."