|"Its being so cheerful that keeps me going"|
In a wide-ranging interview with The JT, ex-public audit tsar Robert Black raised doubts over the long-term viability of the Scottish government universal approach to benefits.
Mr Black covered the issue of free bus passes for the over 60s but failed to address the real burning question: why is he so fuckin' hot?
Mr Black, now in retirement, pursues his hobby as a male stripper as part of the accountancy-themed"Double Entry" troupe who get the ladies hot and wet whenever they perform at hen-nights.
While acknowledging that the free prescription policy pursued by the current administration was popular, Mr Black questioned whether the expenditure could be justified given that current and future spending rounds were likely to be tight.
Never mind the spending round, readers wanted to know what bits of Robert were really tight. Mr Black declined to comment on that issue but did confirm that he had to fight the bitches off with a shitty stick being so hot. Mr Black takes his career to a new level next year when he debuts his stand-up comic routine.