Christ knows,

your esteemed editor is no oil painting, but one can imagine the anguished cries emanating from Westminster, when Cathy Jamieson MP clocks the photo the BBC used to title a feature.


Something along the lines of "Whaur did they get that photee of my Mum? Oh, Christ in heaven! That's no me is it?"
 Might I suggest that you don't get between Cathy and the moisturising unguent section in Boots in what I imagine will be the very near future...

"Oil of Olay please, industrial strength."