A storm of protest broke over the head of Labour deputy leader Harriet Harman this weekend as she described coalition minister Danny Alexander as a "ginger rodent" in a speech to the Scottish Labour conference.
She later apologised, telling The JT : "I apologise unreservedly for describing Mr Alexander as a ginger rodent. It was a slip of the tongue. I meant to describe him has an opportunistic, careerist, two-faced cunt."
It is thought unlikely that the apology will stem the criticism of Ms Harman's comments. A spokesrat for the ginger rodent community told The JT : "To be compared to that wee four-eyed git, willing to starve the poor by doing his Tory masters' bidding in return for a ministerial limo is a gross insult. We'll be writing to Ms Harman to demand a full apology, just as soon as we develop an opposable thumb that would allow us to grasp a writing implement."
Meanwhile, the Man With No Plan, The Grayster, Scottish Labour Leader Iain Gray told the conference that he was "ready to serve the Scottish people."
The Scottish people, contacted for comment, told The JT that they'd need to get back to Mr Gray on that one, but thanked him for his kind interest.