Real archaeologists in Scotland this week fixed rigid smiles on, gritted their collective teeth and congratulated ingénue amateur treasure hunter David Booth, who stumbled across a £1m treasure hoard.
Professor Beaker of Edinburgh's Department of Valuable Antiquities Found by A Lucky Spawny Get told the JT: "In over 30 years of painstaking, methodical fieldwork I've never come across anything worth more than hee-fuckin'-haw, and then this lucky bastard comes along and finds a million quid's worth of old stuff. Remind me again, in what sense is life fair?"
In a bizarre turn of phrase, oor Davie, whose day job is chief game warden at Blair Drummond Safari Park, told the press (this is true) that he only took up treasure-hunting to get out in the "open-air more".
So, does that mean that all the wild-life at BD just stay inside all the time?