Sunday, 22 November 2009

Departure promised for new sub generation

Admiralty sources confirmed to The JT this week, that HMS "Astute", an attack sub,  to be stationed at Faslane, will be the last conventionally configured class of sub.

"To be honest", a  spokeshornpipe told The JT, "it's becoming increasingly difficult to justify the cost of these hi-tech exercises in post-imperialist dementia to the public." 

Finally bowing to the inevitable conclusion: that it makes no fuckin' sense to waste money on these pointless thantic tributes, the Navy announced plans this week to develop a new type of submarine, the Surreal Class. "The new class of sub will take the whole mad process to its logic conclusion - the creation of a class of weapon that expresses the sheer insanity of its purpose in its design."

It is expected that HMS "Ftaang, ftaang, biscuit barrel" will enter service on the 12th of never. 

Inside: You wouldn't think a cutaway could express class relations would you? You'd be wrong.
Have a look at this BAE cutaway of the Astute, note there are two eating areas, one for the officers and one for the scruff. It's like having two canteens in a dustbin, it makes no sense...

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