Friday, 6 November 2009

Former heid jannie to review National Trust

George Reid, the distinguished former heid jannie at Holyrood has been appointed to conduct a review of strife-torn heritage body The National Trust For Scotland.

Mr Reid told the JT: "My role in the review will be more strategic than my oversight role within the Scottish Parliament. At Holyrood I was mainly concerned by the number of toilet rolls and the condition of the floor mops. In reviewing the Trust, I'll be much more concerned with the re-siting of the toilet roll cupboard and the possible purchase of a new mop bucket. I say "possible" because I will not be ruling anything in or out at this stage, but if I feel that there is a  need for a new mop bucket at some stage down the road, going forward, then I won't hesitate to let the need for a new mop bucket  feature in my recommendations." 

Mr Reid concluded the interview by saying he was looking forward to his new role, putting away the chairs and getting away for his bus.

It is understood that since retiring as heid jannie Mr Reid has been making use of Holyrood when the parliament is not in session, hiring out the space for heats of the little-known cable-tv show "Strictly Come Ceilidh", with Mr Reid asking members of the audience if they'd like a dance. After making sure that all fire exits are securely locked.

It is understood that this attempt to supplement his pension was required after a titular arrangement to tour an Alexander Brothers tribute act broke down over "irreconcilable" musical differences with his partner:

Elsewhere on planet politics/entertainment this week, Culture Minister Mike Russell announced his plans to star in the hit panto "Snow White and the Eight Dwarves". "It should've only been seven dwarves" Mike explained, "but what with inflation...."

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