Nod, wink unlikely to cover £100k oversight

The Masonic Lodge in Edinburgh has received an unexpected bill from the utility company for £100K's worth of sparkie juice.

The bill for the electricity is hotly disputed by the Lodge with a spokesonthesquare telling The JT: "We've never gone through that much electricity; the members get their wives to wash the dirty aprons and most of our rituals are conducted by candlelight. Actually, I've just thought, that mention of dirty aprons and candlelight rituals might have sounded a bit weird. Just forget I said anything."

The Lodge secretary cited the bill as evidence of the continuing moral decline in British society : "In the old days, a nod, a wink and a peculiar handshake would've seen that bill disappear. It's come to a sad pass when secretive, male-only organisations have to pay bills like other, normal people."

Inside: Sorry, only Lodge members can read this bit.