Friday, 11 February 2011

Are Tornado (ahem) "accidents" linked?

With a second Tornado jet crashing within a month , concerns are growing at RAF Lossiemouth that the losses are linked. 

A spokeschocksawaychaps told The JT: " we're concerned that the pilots based at Lossiemouth are jealous of their colleagues at Leuchers who've got shiny new Typhoon fighters to play with. It may be that the Tornado pilots are deliberately trying to break the jets so they get given new ones"

Other incidents at the Moray-base include:
  • Pilots complaining that the Tornado jets look all old and yucky.
  • Deliberately flying the jet slowly to make it look rubbish.
  • Leaving brochures extolling the virtues of the Typhoon around where they know the base-commander can see them.
  • Ostentatiously taking ages to start up the Tornado, while complaining loudly that: " the starter motor's completely fucked on it." 

Airworthiness issues with ageing Tornado

Contacted by The JT for comment , the base-commander said:" We're aware that some of the pilots are throwing the toys out of the pram on this equipment issue but I want to make it clear that if pilots insist on behaving like sulky teenagers then we will withdraw the X-Box 360 from the mess effective immediately."

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