Friday, 23 October 2009

From The BBC: "Excuse me man, I have reason to believe that you can turn me on." *

Jail for drug-dealing policeman
A police officer who admitted dealing cocaine while on secondment to his force's drugs unit has been jailed for 26 months.
Christopher McGinn was caught with the drug in a pub car park by Lothian and Borders Police colleagues last October. He was suspended from duty before resigning from the force.

The 29-year-old was told by Sheriff Roderick MacLeod at Edinburgh Sheriff Court that only a custodial sentence was appropriate.

Mr McGinn told The JT: "I now realise that when my superiors in the force described the secondment as valuable work experience we were not thinking along the same lines.They obviously had a more interdicting role in mind for me, as opposed to marketing."

Inside: * And that line is from?


Ian said...

Nice Bonzo's reference!

The Jaggy Thistle said...

Well done you. Can you remember the track? @cos I can't!

Ian said...

It is from the very wonderful Rhinocratic Oaths:-

After his second wife passed away, Percy Rawlinson seemed to spend more and more time with his alsatian Al.
His friends told him "You should get out more, Percy, or you'll wind up looking like a dog, ha ha."
He was later arrested near a lampost.
At his trial some months later he surprised everyone by mistaking a policeman for a postman and tearing his trousers off with his bare teeth.
In his defence he told the court "It's hard to tell the difference when they take their hats off."

Mrs Betty Pench was playing the trombone when she heard a knock on the door.
"I wonder who that is at eleven o'clock in the morning" she thought, but cautiously opened the door and instead of the turbanned ruffian she had expected, she found a very nice young man.
"Mrs. Pench, you've won the car contest, would you like a Triumph Spitfire or 3000 in cash?" He smiled.
Mrs. Pench took the money. "What will you do with it all? Not that it's any of my business," he giggled.
"I think I'll become an alcoholic," said Betty.

With a geranium behind each ear and his face painted with gay cabalistic symbols, six foot eight seventeen stone police seargent Geoff Bull looked jolly convincing as he sweated and grunted through a vigorous twist routine at the Fraga Gogo Bierkeller.
His hot surge trousers flapped wildly over his enourmous plastic sandals as he jumped and jumped and gyrated towards a long-haired man.
"Uh, excuse me, man, I have reason to believe you can turn me on."
He leered suggestively.
As if by magic dozens of truncheons appeared and they mercilessly thrashed him.
Poor Geoff, what a turnup for the books.

Much as he hated arguments or any kind of unpleasantness, Ron Shirt thought things had gone too far when, returning from a weekend in Clacton, he found that his neighbour had trimmed the enourmous hedge dividing their gardens into the shape of a human leg.
Enraged and envious beyond belief, Ron seized his garden shears and clipped his white poodle Leo into a coffee table.
"That'll fix it," thought Ron, but he was wrong.
The following Wednesday his neighbour had his bushy waist-length hair cut and permed into a model of the Queen Elizabeth and went sailing.
Everywhere he went, people said "Hooray!"
Sometimes you just can't win.


The Jaggy Thistle said...

I bow to your superior wisdom, your guitar making talent and your love of Jake.
Top Bloke.