Jim Devine is so fucked.
If, that is, the Sunday Herald story linked to below is true. It's not often that I'll concede ground on the satire front, but honestly, I couldn't have made this one up.
The fact that the chippie in question is denying all knowledge of the alleged work, suggests that he's spotted Her Majesty's Bizzies hovering about and decided to, er....
Well, in way of illustration, might I refer you to an old Tam Cowan gag, viz: "What's rarer than a virgin in Motherwell? A witness to an assault".