From The BBC:Oh My!

The leader of Glasgow City Council is being investigated by police over his handling of the controversial George Square revamp.

It is understood the probe into Labour councillor Gordon Matheson is being carried out by the Major Crimes and Public Protection unit.

A Police Scotland spokeswoman confirmed the force had received a complaint, which it was looking into.

Mr Matheson said he was confident of being cleared of any wrongdoing.

In a statement issued on his behalf by the council, he said: "I am happy for this to be fully investigated. I will give whatever help the police ask me to, and am confident there will ultimately be a finding in my favour." Mr Matheson did however stress that should events take an unfortunate turn he would be operationalising what he termed The Dorothy Option...

Unkind I know

to judge a person by the way they look, and I'm not about to do that.
 I know from other evidence that George Osborne is a complete gareth. However, have a look at this picture of "Gideon" with Danny The Useful Idiot. 
You know what Osborne's thinking don't you? He's thinking "I've just spent the morning drowning kittens and I fuckin' loved it!"

George and "useful idiot"

From The BBC: frustrating news from Edinburgh

"Artificial insemination has been carried out on Edinburgh Zoo's female giant panda Tian Tian.

The zoo said panda specialists performed the procedure in the early hours of the morning.

Despite the male panda, Yang Guang, having shown "consistently encouraging behaviour" natural mating was not attempted."

Close, Yang, but no cigar

BBC Headlines:semiotics 101

What the headline says:

Rangers: Charles Green 'to depart' chief executive role

By Chris McLaughlin and Alasdair LamontBBC Scotland

Comments (258)

Charles Green has indicated to the Rangers board he will leave his role as chief executive of the club.

what the headline actually means:

Rangers: Charles Green to get the fuck out of Dodge

By Chris McLaughlin and Alasdair LamontBBC Scotland

Comments (258)

Charles Green has indicated to the Rangers board he has a limo outside with the engine running...

Funeral day

and as London turns out to say farewell, the turnout in Edinburgh is rather disappointing. Via The Guardian, thanks to Berlin Lewis for the heid's up.

I've got a question

Right, email at the ready, subject line "party leader questions", OK, got that. Let's go!

Really? Who knew? (From The BBC)

A "substantial" number of reptiles and 12 animals have died in a "ferocious" blaze at a zoo in West Lothian.

The fire broke out in the reptile house of the Five Sisters Zoo at Polbeth, West Calder, at about 03:50.

Fire crews managed to stop it spreading but reptiles, 11 meerkats and an otter died. They were able to rescue a pair of dwarf crocodiles and a second otter.While readers of the above were naturally upset to learn of such tragic deaths, a majority of the reading population had no idea there was even a zoo in West Calder. Come to that, where is West Calder anyway?

Its a miracle!

 Its becoming hard for the BBC to come up with any fresh stuff from their picture library on the on-going Thatcher saga.
 Witness this effort, playing up the connection between Thatch alive and this group and the role of Chelsea Pensioners in the upcoming ritual of serving up her tea which is  noo well and truly oot.

And then that got me thinking about a characterization of Daily Mail obsessions that we wrote about over on the old JT many years ago. A typical DM headline, post that night in Paris, we suggested might read: "Princess Diana: Is she still dead?"
Given the delirious eulogies that have characterized the coverage of the woman's death in the right-wighty press this past week, I humbly present the picture that editors of said press would love you to wake up to tomorrow:

For those who have missed

this...
I know its just down to the software, but I bet the editor in charge of The Guardian's website got funny shooting pains in his chest when this unfortunate amalgam of headline links was pointed out. 
Still, anything to cheer us up a bit on these dark days 'til the funeral eh?
( Its the third headline down BTW.You might need your readers. I'm saying, YOU MIGHT NEED YOUR  READERS! Well, where did you last have them?You need to get on of those string things to hang your  readers 'round your neck. I'm saying, oh never mind... )

As The Westminster Bubble goes into full-on

 beatification mode, what's happening out in the real world?


A bit difficult to read, but in summary form, Corrie was watched  by 19.3m, second in the applicable slot  was Broadchurch with 6.6m. The Thatcher programme, running from 8.30pm until 10pm notched up 2.61m viewers. 
It is not known what percentage of the viewers for that programme laughed hysterically throughout.

Inside: If you want to check the data, I got the above from: http://www.attentional.com/screenwatch/viewings/monday-8th-april-2013/

And in death, as in life

she faced that final journey perhaps comforted by the knowledge that she was surrounded by the kind of people people she really, really cared about...

This is what wee historians recognise as irony...

What big historians make of it I've no idea but:
On Friday, Alex Salmond declares HSBC "the most Scottish bank in the world". Presumably this is because, the bank du jour previously, RBS, has now somewhat put itself out of the running.

On Sunday, The Herald reveals that amongst the list of funders of The Better Together campaign is Douglas Flint, chairperson of said HSBC.

Monday, and The Herald reports that some SNP supporters are campaigning for a mass withdrawal of deposits from The HSBC.

And that's irony. Or is it hubris? Or hubris plus time? I don't know really.

Media round up

From The Skintman: "ALEX Salmond has signalled that he wants to remain a staunch ally of the United States and would allow American bases on Scottish soil after independence – as long as they were non-nuclear. The First Minister was speaking as he tok place in Crazy Town, population Alex."


From BBC Scotland:"People taking part in a planned rally against the perceived ill-treatment of football fans have been warned by police not to stage an "illegal" march.
The rally in Glasgow's George Square is being staged on Saturday by Fans Against Criminalisation - an umbrella organisation of Celtic fans' groups. Fans Against Criminalisation (FAC) represents thousands of fans belonging to the Green Brigade, Celtic Trust, Celtic Supporters Association, Affiliation of Registered Celtic Supporters Clubs and Association of Irish Celtic Supporters Clubs,The Popular Front for the Liberation of Judea and the Judean Popular Front. But no splitters."

From The Hardup:"THE Scottish Government's independence referendum is teaching the world a lesson in democracy, Alex Salmond has told an audience in New York...In a speech to the Carnegie Council, he said: "It is worth reflecting on something really important – how this process of Scottish self-determination is offering as an exemplar to the rest of the planet.

"For the best part of a century Scotland has been on a constitutional journey. Despite the passion of the argument, not a single person has lost their life arguing for or against Scottish independence – indeed nobody has suffered so much as a nosebleed. Mr Salmond went on to express a deeply held wish to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony..."

Cameron holds audience rapt as his oratory reaches new heights of bollockiness

PM David Cameron, in a speech at the Thales factory in Glasgow, told a clearly conscripted... sorry, I meant to write, enthralled audience of factory staff that the Trident missile  programme protected the UK from nuclear blackmail. 
He told riveted or perhaps nailed, staff listening that :"The only way to resist nuclear blackmail from rogue states like North Korea is by responding positively to whispered phonecalls from the US defence industry demanding £30 billion."

Staff thoughts:"Why don't you shut the fuck up? This is meant to be my lunch break, you tosser."

North Korea's nuclear blackmail force, earlier today.

God knows

things on the Scottish broadsheet scene are pretty bleak, with The Scotsman cutting jobs and I don't think  the mood's that great over at The Herald either, if this paid for ad in their email prompt is anything to go by. What price just one Scottish broadsheet title within 3 years?

From The BBC

Firefighters in the Highlands have worked through the night to tackle a huge grassland blaze which broke out near Fort William on Monday.

At one point the fire stretched for a distance of about three miles, covering an area of 650 hectares, near the B8004 road above Banavie.

The Scottish Fire and Rescue Service said crews were continuing to monitor the scene.

There are no reports of any properties needing to be evacuated.

The firefighters work was hampered by the entire population of Scotland turning up looking for a free heat.Heat seekers spent hours rubbing hands and opening their palms to the hot radiance while talking about how warm it was this time last year and not looking forward to getting the gas bill.