Monday, 23 April 2012

Danny Alexander, the talking ginge

Treasury  minister and professional ginge Danny Alexander told Whitehall mandarins this week that they must find further savings in their departmental budgets.
 He later told The JT:" In getting tough with the Civil Service I'm drawing on my  past vast experience of actually managing complex, massive budgets- as press officer for the Cairngorm National Park."

As the editor of the JT looked out of the window and thought about something else, Danny insisted:" At the Park Authority I was responsible for communicating the Park's PR message in a 24-hour a week operation. It was a fast moving constantly changing environment what with rain turning to sleet in the morning and sleet turning back to rain in the afternoon."

While critics might question Danny's skill-base in  terms of fiscal management, the carrot topped one, endowed with massive dollops self-belief, insisted that his time working as a PR  flak for a tiny little operation in the middle of fuckwhere provided him with a unique mandate in issuing ministerial fiats to the Civil Service.

 He tiresomely  insisted in telling The JT: " I had to make some hard budgeting decisions at the Park Authority and I wasn't afraid to make the hard decisions. I well remember telling Morag, who ran the office, that we'd have to switch from full fat to semi-skimmed because it was cheaper. At the time she feigned indifference, as if my hard business approach didn't bother her. But I could tell, she knew she was dealing  with a man who wouldn't take "yeh, whatever" for an answer. Although I did."
It is thought that Danny can't believe his luck, in, through an accident of history, being placed in a position of authority where people have got to pretend that what he says has any meaning or significance.

Danny, earlier today, gauging the size of his own dickocity.

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