OK, just back away slowly and don't make eye contact.

"P'yow! P'yow!

As her contribution to an often heated debate on the independence referendum, Tory leader this week, Ruth Davidson, told fellow MSPs at Holyrood that: "The next 1000  days could  decide the  destiny of our country, not just for the next 300 years but the next 1000 years."

As MSPs coughed nervously and intently studied their order papers to avoid making eye contact, Ms Davidson insisted to The JT that she was not guilty of hyperbole. " Not in the least, I actually  dialled  it down a bit. In fact, this decision could echo on down the years to the End Of Time itself when space and time will melt one into the other and the universe will simply cease to be."


Looking to the medium term. the next 500 years, Ms Davidson told The JT: "If Scotland goes it alone, the ordinary people of our nation will be deprived of the benefits of technology that I've recently brought back from the future through a worm hole in my office. Behold my Oxter of Radiance mortals, and tremble!"


Responding to Ms Davidson's remarks, in that mock jocular tone that other people find fuckin' annoying, First Minister Salmond would only promise that the proposed referendum would definitely take place sometime in the next 1000 years.
Probably.