The boffins, all specialists in blood, have gained funding from government to develop artificial blood to be used in transfusions.
Professor Beaker of Edinburgh's Department of Ooh that's a nasty cut isn't it? You'd better wash it under the cold tap Studies told the JT: "While the £2m is welcome we really needed the extra investment provided by a new funding model developed in Eastern Europe- the vampire fund."
The extra money is provided on the understanding that the main investor, a Count Nosferatu, has first dibs on sampling the product and unlimited access to locally sourced, buxom virgins.
Professor Beaker continued:
"Allowing the Count to check the artificial blood product isn't a big technical problem, and I won't insult your readers' intelligence by recycling the obvious gag about problems sourcing local buxom virgins."
It is thought he Count represents a long line of similar investment patrons stretching back to the first : Vlad The Investor.
|Mr Nosferatu "just popping upstairs to check on the virgins."|