Saturday, 8 May 2010

"Shut it, Angus, I'm talking"...

Alex Salmond acted quickly over the weekend to take control of the evolving coalition scenario looming at Westminster.

While one would've thought that tactical questions over Westminster were best addressed by the leader of the SNP group in that parliament, Alex skilfully ensured that the group leader, Angus Robertson,  was kept busy doing other things while Alex addressed the world's media. 

As news of the hung parliament broke on Friday, Alex spoke to the press while Angus went to Greggs for bridies. On his return, despite Angus hoping for his own word with the media, Alex quickly checked the bag of bridies and sent Angus back to Greggs to get brown  sauce on them. 

On Saturday, Angus was expected to be unavailable for press calls all day because Alex had asked him to get a litre tin of tartan gloss at B and Q and not come back 'til he found it.

SNP newish boy John Mason, had his arse handed to him by the voters of Glasgow East forcing John to look for a real job. He told The JT : " The people have spoken: the bastards." Which  was of course not original,but still a cracking gag.

He is replaced by Labour hackette Margaret Curran who is, of course in reality,  Davros, Emperor of The Daleks. Attempting to hide his identity behind an ill-fitting blondish wig and glasses, the despotic half-man, half machine, told the rather bemused audience at the count that he would not rest until the Daleks ruled the universe.

At this point, several Daleks in the hall could contain themselves no longer and attempted to joyfully climb up on the podium. With predictably hilarious results,,,

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