After a horse has been attacked by a "puma- like" cat in Ayrshire, the local plod has issued advice that if seen, the puma should not be approached. That's good advice, given that pumas are about seven foot long, weigh 13 stone and are unlikely to answer to the name "Tiddles".
All of which does give me the excuse to recycle the following from the letters page of the mighty "Viz". To wit:
"I saw an advert on the telly last night telling me that, for £3, I could adopt a polar bear. Now I can understand how you might want to adopt a fluffy kitten or a cuddly puppy, but a polar bear? Are they fucking mad?"
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