Other questions might include...
- Is anyone here actually medically qualified? Anyone?
- Ooh, this knife thing is very sharp isn't it? Oh, it's called a scalpel is it?
- Blimey, that anaesthetic's a bit strong isn't it? Oh, it's for the patient? Silly me.
- Don't tell me, I'm sure I know what that machine does. I saw it Holby the other night. It either monitors heart rate or makes filter coffee.
- Right, so we're cutting the patient's left leg off. Not his right, his left. Right. What I mean is I understand, not that I think we're taking off his right leg. Left, not right. Is that his left or my left?
- Ooh, that's a lot of blood isn't it? Should it be coming out like that? I think that's probably not a good thing. What does everyone else think?
"No, you got to be the surgeon last time. It's my turn to be surgeon and your turn to watch the bleepy things."