The new Labour leader in Scotland, Jim Murphy, spoke exclusively to The JT this week, revealing how this year has been one of personal revelations. Pausing only to adjust his Celtic top Mr Murphy said:"Apparently there's this philosophy called socialism that people in The Labour Party used to espouse. Its all about the working class controlling the means of production so I would like to put it on record that I'm definitely a socialist."
It remains now only for Mr Murphy to slightly tweak the central tenets of the ideology to bring them into line with his personal political beliefs. "As a long term supporter of nuclear arms I will now reframe my position to state that workers should control the means of mass destruction, with the workers in this instance being the military and the US arms industry."
Inside: All together now: "Arise ye Trident missiles from your slumber..."