January
There's no easy way to say this, so let's just get it out there: Michaela likes black cock.
While watching
the BBC's broadcast from The Cairngorms in search of innocent diversion, I was shocked, shocked, upset and distressed to hear Winterwatch's Michaela Strachan make an very off colour comment on air. I was so shocked and distressed that I had to go to i-player and play the clip again with the subs on.
I've a good mind to put my foot through the universe and send the BBC the bill.
Intriguingly, her co-presenter's remark:"We promise you black cock on the internet" went untitled, but you can run the show on i-player and play it at about 5 minutes in so you can be as disgusted as I was.
What a blind person just listening in would've made of this filth doesn't bear thinking about...
Intriguingly, her co-presenter's remark:"We promise you black cock on the internet" went untitled, but you can run the show on i-player and play it at about 5 minutes in so you can be as disgusted as I was.
What a blind person just listening in would've made of this filth doesn't bear thinking about...
Our thoughts are with any distressed blind people at this difficult time and our hearts go out to them.
February
And this from The Skintperson. Altogether now, sheep shagging bastards, you're only sheep shagging bastards...
March
Smile, though inside you're aching...
Making The Best Of Things- Number 1
Ally McCoist and Lee McCulloch celebrate the massive achievement of Rangers winning the League One race
April
God, he's just so fuckin' hot...
SUNDAY, 20 APRIL 2014
One for the ladies, God bless them...
Women-only
Scottish cabinet event
"Gosh, Alex is so dreamy isn't he?" "Mmm, yes, I'd do him in a fuckin' heartbeat..."
The Scottish government has announced a women-only Scottish cabinet event to debate issues related to the independence referendum.
Having just seen two women conveniently elected to the SNP Cabinet, a spokespatroniser told The JT:
" Its important to have a women only event so the girls can have a good old chin wag without having to worry about whose going to get the tea ready for the men..."
May
The Scotsman reported that fall in crime not due to police stop and search...
June
So farewell Tel, again...
July
Ahem...
June
So farewell Tel, again...
Hibs crisis latest: So farewell then Tel...
Ahem...
Commonwealth Games special- Camerons win Looking Confused gold!
.
September
We're aff tae sunny Spain...tae meet a Pathetic Shark...
Things we learned on holiday.
- Airlines now manage a fleet of creches flying at 37000 feet and stuffed full of screaming fuckin' kids going into meltdown. These creches are also known as aircraft. Toddlers aren't meant to be stuck in a metal tube or hours on end as part of a "holiday". Toddlers are the reason God invented camping holidays...
- The obesity crisis is all too apparently European -wide.
- Germans appear to suffer from a little known condition called reverse anorexia.
- All of human life is here represented from beautiful people fresh off the front page of Model Monthly and others fresh of the front cover of Monsters Today.
- A bikini, or indeed a pair of tight swim trunks, doesn't magically do away with the16 stones of fat.
- In a hot climate its vitally important to drink at least 3 litres of water. To ensure karmic balance make very sure to drink similar amounts of lager...
October
Do come in Gordon, Doctor Reality will see you now...
And finally, at the age of 63, Gordon suddenly experienced enlightenment...
November
Fuckin' hell, Kenny, that's a bit harsh..
Blimey Kenny, I mean Gabs is no Einstein but...
this is a bit harsh...
December
Finally, in a crowded field of potential candidates, a late entry, but deserved winner in the awards category I've just made up, Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the winner of the Complete Waste Of Genetic Material Award.http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-30641705
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