According to The Hardup, Wales has joined other sites in England in offering to host the UK's Trident sub fleet should Scotland go independent.
Professor Beaker, speaking from a reinforced nuclear bunker somewhere near Cardiff, told The JT:" Relocating the Trident fleet to somewhere in Wales, preferably a coastal site, would considerably amp up the stakes in event of a nuclear war. Major centres of Western Civilization could be put at risk. Oh, and Wales might get hit as well..."
It is thought that the Royal Navy would base their "A" Class nuclear subs at a yet to be named Welsh location.
Bidding farewell to Faslane would be the crews of The Aground, The Ah, Shit We've Hit Another Rock , Again and The Arsed it Right Up.
More controversially, RN sources have cast doubt on the viability of relocating the fleet, telling The JT: " Given the cost of resiting the fleet it, might be better just to get rid of Trident and find some other ways of handing large sums of money every fuckin' year to the US (ahem) "defense" industry".
A Whitehall mandarin pausing only to stroke his long thin moustache thing commented:"Apart from the physical costs of moving a multi-billion pound waste of money, just think of the cost of printing all that extra new letterhead for the new base, especially if they decided on this location:"