Friday, 14 October 2011

Is your tea oot?

With boundary changes promising some very entertaining political fratricide to come, we ask the MPs- is your tea oot?

A Mr D.Alexander from Paisley and Renfrewshire South says:"Based on the reworking of the boundaries it looks like I'm fucked with a double-helping of fucked-upness on top. Looks like I'll be shifting to a senior role in a large Scottish voluntary organisation that exists solely to provide soft landings for ex-politicians."
Another D.Alexander, this time from somewhere in the frozen north says: " Bollocks. It looks like I'll have to fight my cousin in gingerness, Charles Kennedy, for  dibbs on one remaining seat. By the time the election come around in 2015, the Westminster Coalition will be reduced to feeding new born babies into a furnace to keep the bankers warm and I'll have to explain to my torn-faced in-bred constituents why this is a good thing. I'm so fucked.
 I wonder if there are any jobs going in that tree protection outfit I used to write the occasional press release for?"
A Mr C.Kennedy, also from up north says: " Sorry, what?"
A Mr D.Mundell from Dumfries and Galloway writes:" Speaking as the only Tory MP in Scotland I'd just like to say thank you and goodnight."

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