Monday, 31 October 2011

From The Scotsperson, sort of

Scarlett goes cruising in Glasgow
Published on Saturday 29 October 2011 22:08

GLASGOW shoppers did a double take yesterday when they spotted Hollywood star Scarlett Johansson cruising around in her now trademark white transit van.Shooting scenes for her sci-fi alien horror film Under the Skin, the 26-year-old (pictured) and her FilmNation crew did their best to blend in with the city crowds.
What shoppers didn't know was that the film shoot is an elaborate cover story to conceal the real reason for Johansson's visit - to exploit  Scotland's elderly.
A movie insider told The JT: "Between takes, Scarlett is always driving off in her van, cruising the area's housing estates looking for OAPS to scam." 
It is said that when Ms Johansson spots a car with a disabled sticker on it in a driveway, she will try to persuade the usually elderly home owner that they have loose roof slates needing fixing or some other scam. 
Effie McGeriatric told The JT: "You can imagine my surprise when I opened the door to find the star of Lost in Translation there offering to tar our driveway cheap for cash because she had a spare ton left over from another job." 
Police are warning elderly residents to be suspicious of Hollywood A-listers impersonating utility company staff in an attempt to gain access to the home. A spokeshelmet commented : "When Brad Pitt was in Glasgow filming  his zombie movie we had reports of him going door to door between takes, in a boiler suit, claiming to be there to read the gas meter. One elderly resident  remarked: "He was awfie plausible, I had him in to read the gas meter and ahm aw electric."

Scarlett "Strictly cash only" Johansson

Inside: With apologies to Mrs Brady and Elton John.And David Furnish.

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