Alex told The JT :" I dealt with the potential diplomatic difficulty using my customary brilliance. First off I told the Chinese deputy prime minister I quite understood the state's policy of imprisoning and torturing so many dissidents. In China, you imprison and torture one dissident and an hour later you feel the need to imprison and torture another one."
In addition, not only could Mr Salmond announce that cutesy-wootsy Panda bears would be coming to Scotland, but also that they'd be taking over the running of the management of running the Grangemouth plant.
It is thought that the bears' tendency to sit down and do fuck all for hours at a time while sporting black eyes means they will fit right in with the local jaikie population who appear to constitute the majority in the town's (ahem) "shopping" (ahem) "precinct".
|Bonus Half Life reference ahoy!|