As a keening wind moaned, dogs howled and tumble weed, er, tumbled, he told a terminally depressed media:
"Its always been my dream to revisit the work of classic European film directors and I can confirm that I've secured funding to re-make all of Ingmar Bergman's entire oeuvre. However, I've always found Bergman's work rather frivolous so my re-working won't have any of the life affirming humour for which Bergman is so widely remembered."
It is thought that Mr Mullan will cast himself in the role of cheerless, implacable and solemn Death in his re-working of Bergman's The Seventh Seal. "I don't know why" Mr Mullan commented, " but that role just seemed made for me."
Unusually, the re-write calls for Death not to offer the knight a game of chess to save his life. Instead, Death offers the knight his freedom if he can sit through The Magdalene Sisters without entertaining thoughts of suicide, with predictably hilarious results.
|"Aw right Death, big man? That hoodie you've goat oan is pure mental so it is..."|