Sunday, 27 June 2010

Germany 4 England 1. At least it didn't go to penalties...

I've been shocked, really shocked, by suggestions voiced as comments on this blog and elsewhere that The JT hasn't exactly been 100% behind England's World Cup campaign.

I might have not been too vocal in my support for England's striving at the group stage, but I have the defence of sharing deep ties of  affinity with England's three group opponents. 
In sum, I've been to the USA, I know where Algeria is and I've heard of Slovenia. 
And I'm pretty sure I've flown over Germany at some point. In a civilian aircraft I hasten to add.

In any case to this charge I can only answer that it is the policy of The JT to support our English friends when they need the support most. 
As you may know, I'm a qualified psychologist. 
True, my degree was awarded by The University Of Google, but still. After long minutes of studying and reflecting on the human condition, I have come to the conclusion that the true friend comes to the support of one lately afflicted by emotional hurt. 
It's far too easy to "support" someone when things are going well. But what about when things go wrong? That's when the true friend gets dialling.

"So tell us dear editor" I hear you ask, "how can we JT readers help our English friends at this difficult time?" 

Well first, you must be proactive. 

Make up a list of all your English friends and start phoning them. Don't wait for them to phone you. Over the years, as England has  crashed out of international competitions after having had their arse handed to them, I cannot ever recall any of my English friends phoning me to seek succour. 

No, I've always had to make the first move. 

So, don't delay, phone today.

Secondly, do not immediately discuss the detail of England's latest humiliation.  
Jumping in like that doesn't allow your English friends the emotional time and space to acknowledge the depth of hurt felt. Better to feign ignorance. Thus my opening gambit would run along the lines of, "I haven't been watching the TV today. How did England get on?" For closure and healing, it's vital that your English friend "owns" the humping. They need to tell you themselves. Trust me, that's much more therapeutic. 

Bear in mind too that the person suffering traumatic emotional hurt might be difficult to reach. 
Your English friend might, for example, see that it's your number on the caller display and elect not to answer the phone, rip the fucker out of the wall or emigrate. But, there's a lot you can do to get round this reluctance to relate. Buy a cheap mobile with a new number, get your landline number changed, email incessantly. Don't give up. Remember, your English mates need your help in moving on. 

Obviously our thoughts are with them, our hearts burst through our collective chest wall to go out to them at this difficult time, but it is important that you show you care by making sure they know. And I can promise you this, by doing good, by providing support, you'll feel good too, strange as that may seem. 

Its a win/win situation. 

Unlike England's football result.

Inside: You're 4 -1 down, there's 20 minutes to go, you desperately need a goal, so who do you bring on? Emile Heskey of course. "Simples", as Fabio probably says.

1 comment:

The Paper Boy said...

Here I am, possibly the only English reader of the JT...

England were shite, made it to the last 16 - great. Sure things could have gone differently if the second England goal had stood - it didn't - move on.