Tuesday, 11 November 2008

Sixty largely undistinguished years!

As will become only too painfully apparent very soon, The Jaggy Thistle's favourite German, Prince Charles, has his sixtieth birthday this week.

I say painfully, because rest assured the occasion will not pass without Charles treating the waiting world to one of his famous passive-aggressive speeches delivered to an invited audience of sycophants, who will obligingly chuckle every time Charles delivers one of his self-deprecating, but not really self deprecating remarks, to be shown on every TV channel in the known universe for ever.

I'm not sure if, like his Mum, Charles also has an official birthday, or he has to make do with one lot of presents like the rest of us, but congratulations and sincere thanks to His Royal Highness. For, let us be clear, searching for satirical sustenance by rifling through the past eight years of the journal we call The Jaggy Thistle would have made for a thin gruel indeed if it were not for Charlie's reliably bollocky utterances on every subject under the fuckin' sun.

If you go to the big site, search on "Prince Charles" and loads of stuff should come up, search on "Prince Charles+twat" and you may to have to re-boot your PC.

We are specially blessed in the pictorial area of gagstering. For, although Charles might be officially Prince Of Wales, I cannot recall seeing pictures of him standing outside a Cardiff nightclub, sporting a WRU top, fully gassed. At 2am.

No, when it's time for playing dress-up games, Charles can't get enough of that kilted look below.

Space constraints do not allow me to ponder further HRH's (ahem) "singular" contribution to public jollity but If I may I'd like to quote directly from his Royal Waste of Spaceness, viz:

"What's wrong with everyone nowadays? What is it that makes everyone seem to think they are qualified to do things far beyond their technical capabilities? This is all to do with the learning culture in schools. It is a consequence of a child-centred system which admits no failure and tells people they can be pop stars, high court judges, brilliant TV personalities or even infinitely more competent heads of state without ever putting in the necessary effort or having natural abilities."

Ahem. After you Sir with the pot, kettle and tin of black paint.

Prince Charles reacts with regal good humour to suggestion that he might like to pay tax.

Elderly couple concede: Fran and Anna tribute act needs more work

There were red faces all round when Charles turned up at The Braemar Games in the wrong chieftain costume.

When Charles talked about "taking care of wildlife" he perhaps had a very specific meaning in mind.

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