Almost from "The Gazette". (No, me neither...)

Johnstone teacher lands prestigious science gong

Published: 23 Jun 2015 14:40

A JOHNSTONE High School teacher has been awarded a prestigious accolade by the Young Engineers and Science Clubs Scotland.

Making the award, Science minister Fergus Ewing told The JT:

"We rely on educators like Michael to help future scientests research the really big questions like- 'what the fuck is going on with my tie?' and, for that matter,' what the fuck happened to Heather Reid, I mean, she just, like,vanished...'"

From The Scotsman, but with edit.

Ms Davidson seen here either speaking or sneaking out a botty burp.One of the two, definitely, I would say...

SCOTTISH Conservative leader Ruth Davidson is today expected to deliver a stark warning to David Cameron and Tory ministers that “more needs to be done” to keep the United Kingdom intact.

Following the SNP’s election victory in Scotland in May, giving them 56 out of 59 Westminster seats, Ms Davidson will use a lecture at the Scotland Office’s Dover House home in Whitehall to suggest that pro-UK politicians are in danger of “falling into the trap of thinking everything is OK” because of the independence referendum result. It is thought that Mr Cameron will issue an immediate response insisting that: "I'm sorry,  did you say something?I'm afraid I wasn't listening..." Ms Davidson will probably go ionto say something else to which Mr Cameron will reply: :"Evs, babes, evs."

Now then, now then, what's going on here then?

Two papers, two stories.

"That's the swag from last night's job sorted then..."

"Neeving all. No wait that's not right...Eveng all, no that's not it either.. Fuck..."

Blimey!

From The Scotsman, Euroman Jean-Claude Juncker getting very up close and extremely personal with oor Nicola!

Almost from The Scotsman

Lookit, its easy to see why the SNP government's policy on childcare is unclear.
I mean, just lookit at the policy wonk seen here drafting it...

"There, that's the executive summary all done. Now for juice and a biscuit..."