Tuesday, 4 February 2014

From The BBC, by fast horse from Dunbar...

An event to mark the 700th anniversary of the Battle of Bannockburn is to be cut by a day, organisers have said.
"Bannockburn Live" was to have been a three-day event over the last weekend of June.
But VisitScotland has said it will now take place on Saturday 28 and Sunday 29 June, with the hours extended by two hours until 7pm. 
The move reflects modern thinking that, had the battle taking place today  it would've shorter by a day what with digital miniaturization and what have you.
 Professor Beaker of Stirling's Centre For Climbing on The Battle Of Fuckin' Bannockburn Bandwagon told The JT:" In the past , when the world was analog, armed conflicts took fuckin' ages, what with having to physically twat some enemy with an axe and so forth.A further complication at the time was due to the absence of HD, the world was in black and white, thus making it dead hard to identify colours on banners , flags, shields and shit.
If The Battle of Bannockburn had been fought using contemporary digital technology then the whole thing would've taken two days tops and Bruce would've been finished dead early."
It is not known how this would have actually been achieved because certain people can't be bothered to think the gag all that way through... 

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