Sunday, 27 May 2012

"Yes" campaign promises a "Tsunami of Tedium."

In launching the Yes campaign for the independence referendum scheduled for not fuckin' ages yet, First Minister Alex Salmond has outlined his hopes for the campaign.
He told The JT: "I  foresee a Scotland with an electorate constantly engaged with our campaigners, yawning, grinding their teeth, looking at their collective watches and saying to our campaigners 'look, if I promise to vote Yes, will you go the fuck away?' "

It is thought that in opting for a rather long run-in, Mr Salmond is hoping to improve the perception of longevity amongst the Scottish electorate, as Professor Beaker now explains :"In much the same way as giving up smoking on the first day of your holiday doubles the perceived length of each fun-free, fagless day*, Mr Salmond has ensured that the period up to late 2014 will seem like a fuckin' eternity."

Margaret Ewing MSP, (this isn't made up) speaking in a BBC Scotland debate on Independence, argued that the prospect should not be seen as "a silver bullet" to cure Scotland's problems. Although it will presumably deal with any werewolves.
Scottish voters"engaging" with campaign

Inside:*Yes, it is adapted from a Top Tip out of Viz.

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