Oh dear,

I see a pattern emerging... Readers will recall a few months ago that I drew  attention to a news story in The Scotsman recording that Jackie Baillie had been brought into "beef up" Labour's shadow front bench at Holyrood. And today what do we find? 
A  highly distressing story about hospital-induced malnutrition illustrated by a snap of oor Jackie. 


Fair's fair. She is the Labour spokesperson on health, but Christ, you'd think the picture editor could've shown more tact. 
And incidentally, that sentence above, the one with the words "malnutrition" and "Jackie" together? 
That's a pairing you don't see everyday. Or ever, come to that.

Welcome to "The Antipodes of Affluence" or some other bollocks

In a move designed to have all sensible Aussies reaching for their bank book and making a run for it before it all goes tits up, Alex Salmond this week pronounced on Australia and found it good economic wise. 


He told a frankly bored-stiff JT :" In my previous pronouncements on the economic health of other nations, critics will recall that I described Iceland , Ireland and Norway as forming an arc of prosperity, just before the first two took the lemming leap off the fiscal cliff." 
Mr Salmond, while arguing that being right 33% of the time is pretty good going for an economist like him, he does now recognise the flaw in his  methodology. " In looking around for a sound bite, I jumped in with Iceland and Ireland, when I should have started with countries at the beginning of the alphabet."


In backing the environmental basket-case that is Australia, Mr Salmond is obviously keen for Scotland to emulate the success of its people- succeeding to hang on to the shrinking green fringes of a super-heated rock.


Good luck with that one Alex.

You know, God help you,

 that you're irredeemably Scottish when a news item like this, from The BBC, needs no further explanation.

"Compensation for sheep costume man set on fire.

A football fan who set fire to a rival supporter who was dressed as a sheep is to pay his victim £25000 in compensation."

Which reminds me of an old JT feature, back in November 2006, recording the Celtic fan arrested for breach of the peace, on the pitch at Ibrox as Rangers played Maccabi Haifa. To protest Palestinian oppression, the fan carried a PLO flag AND wore a T-shirt  complete with a picture of The Pope. 

One to keep non-Scottish semioticians in Phd  theses for years... 

Inside: This just in. Following his selection of 40 year old David Weir in the squad to play Lithuania, Scotland boss Craig Levein will this week confirm that he will act as patron of a new charity- Pick The Aged.

McManus 2: Having given the topic some

further thought, it hardly seems fair that the prodigiously prodigious Michelle should alone be charged with entertaining The Pope. 

I wonder, is there anyone else available to perhaps lead the crowd in a hymn-a-long?

Someone like David Mitchell for example?

From The Scotsperson

Michelle McManus to perform for the PopePublished Date: 18 August 2010Pop Idol winner Michelle McManus will sing for the Pope when he visits Scotland, the Catholic Church said today. It is thought the performance is designed to remind the pontiff of the need for every human to seek salvation in The Lord or face the ordeal of purgatory which theological scholars reckon is about half as bad as hearing Ms McManus (ahem) "sing".

"Whew. Thank fuck its not the Book Keeping Festival!"

Yes, indeedy. 


For Nick Barley, new head of the Edinburgh Book Festival, its better to stay away from matters numerical. 
Nick, no doubt embittered redundant staff will recall, used to be chief executive of The Lighthouse arts project in Glasgow, which went bust under his chief executiveness. 
Thankfully, Nick got himself his nice new job. 


Good for Nick. 


Hopefully he's got plenty of time to catch up on his reading...

With surveys showing

that Tory support in Scotland is actually falling further, we ask: how bad is it?


Tory support last week:                                                         









Tory support this week:    

                                                                                    

Short but perfectly formed...

via Graham Linehan's blog ,an ever reliable source of fun. A veritable haiku of funnee. Short but perfectly formed.

Much like this post...

Grace under pressure

You wouldn't know it to look at me of course but your editor is something of a classical music fan. I don't know much about it but I know what I etc. Specifically I adore "The Lark Ascending" by Vaughan Williams. As the creator of one of the most evocative soundscapes in the early 20th century canon, the guy is the absolute dog's bollocks. Too English? Fuck no. I've MP3'd The Lark on the top of a Scottish hill and been completely blown away. Listen to the piece and think about your favourite Scottish landscape. It just works. 
Beautifully.
Which brings me to Nicola Benedetti. Despite flu and an understandable attack of nerves, Nicola with the Scottish Symphony Orchestra, paid a respectful transcendent tribute to this most English of composers at the Albert Hall as part of The Proms- that most English of music events.


Its starts about 1 hour .17 minutes in. 


Turn the phone off and climb a Munro of the imagination.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00t7xvr/BBC_Proms_2010_Prom_23_Foulds_Vaughan_Williams_Elgar_Part_1/

It is reported...

in today's Sunday Herald, that senior figures in the Scottish Conservative Party, unhappy at recent electoral showings, are planning a new "strategic direction". 
One that doesn't require the services of you know who...