Things we learned on holiday.
- Airlines now manage a fleet of creches flying at 37000 feet and stuffed full of screaming fuckin' kids going into meltdown. These creches are also known as aircraft. Toddlers aren't meant to be stuck in a metal tube or hours on end as part of a "holiday". Toddlers are the reason God invented camping holidays...
- The obesity crisis is all too apparently European -wide.
- Germans appear to suffer from a little known condition called reverse anorexia.
- All of human life is here represented from beautiful people fresh off the front page of Model Monthly and others fresh of the front cover of Monsters Today.
- A bikini, or indeed a pair of tight swim trunks, doesn't magically do away with the16 stones of fat.
- In a hot climate its vitally important to drink at least 3 litres of water. To ensure karmic balance make very sure to drink similar amounts of lager...
- When a Spanish chef assures you that the soup is vegetarian, he means its made from vegetarians.