Going

forward at this moment in time.
 For all your fatuous, vacuous corporate strapline solutions, enjoy, dear reader do, NHS Forth Valley's effort on a Fuckin' Bus Timetable. 
Jesus.  

One of the disadvantages

Moving ceremony marking not spending £9 bn on people's  housing needs.

of not being in That London over the last few months, years or what might actually be decades, has been missing out. 
Missing out that is, on being stopped by some BBC hack, blissed-out on Olympic Kool-Aid and being asked:" There's a real sense of excitement building isn't there?"


 Now, because you're really bright, you'll recognise an assumptive close when you see one. With such a positive-spin built into the query, it would've been a tad churlish to respond with:
" Well, to be honest, I would have been lot more excited had the government been a lot more imaginative and spent £9 billion on giving ordinary Londoners decent housing." 
But,no, I'm a coward, so if asked I would have said:" Excited? Am I excited? Ahm positively  tumescent wi' excitement honey (assuming it was a lady), I've got a diamond cutter building up here! Ahm loaded fuhr bear so ahm uhr!" Or words to that effect. 
They might have cut it in the edit mind.
Anyway, the above is all a scene setter for The JT's commemorative Olympic joke, sponsored by Adidas, Sony, Mastercard and Morton's Rolls. (Courtesy of Highland Pete):


"Letterbox goes and wife comes through with a jiffy bag addressed to her husband. 

"What rubbish is this you've been buying now?"  she asks.

Husband takes envelope from her and as he tears it open a bundle of bronze, silver and gold items fall out of it.

He says "These are the special Olympic condoms I sent away for and this is your lucky night because you're going to get a gold medal performance from me!"

His wife (with that look we can just picture) says "Is that so? Well I've got a better idea  --  why don't you put on a silver one and you can come second for a change?""

Thank you, Ladees and Gennelmen, lets hear it for Highland Pete, he'll be here all week. Try and the veal and don't forget to tip the waitress etc

Oh yeh right...

Like you read this story on the BBC  website and the exact same thought didn't enter your head, not once. 
Yeh, right...

"Olympic officials in London are to blame for a flag row which jeopardised a women's football game at Hampden Stadium in Glasgow, it has emerged.


The North Korean women's team walked off after a video introducing their players showed the South Korean flag. They later returned to play the match."

Disease linked to Catholicism.

Concern was growing last night that the incidence of a serious disease might be linked to an openly Catholic lifestyle. 
Speculation mounted after it was revealed that a senior God botherer in Scotland, Archbishop of Glasgow elect, Philip Tartagalia, had speculated, in a public forum. if the death of a Scottish MP had been caused by his gayness. The MP, tactfully (tactically?) unnamed by The Archbish is, back on Planet Earth , known to have died of an illness not related to his sexual preference.


It does appear however that there is a clear link between indulging in a blatantly Catholic lifestyle and talking out the arse. Man in a dress, Tartagalia, has claimed that he could go to jail at some point for "speaking out" against gay lifestyles. Hmm, yes, best leave it there I think...

Can't think of a title for this... suddenly distracted...

I mean, she's a nice enough looking wumman, but...

OK, so here's the thing. 

I run a bit of software on the blog that counts the number of hits and where they're coming in from.  I'm just being nosy but to be honest I would've preferred a bit of software to not only give a general heids-up but also the name, address of the hiter (?) and where the spare keys to the hoose are kept.( My money's on that curling store propping open the greenhouse door).

 But anyway, the above rake term popped up the other day, it reads, "Sally Magnusson-milf." and due to the wonder of Google's metrics, The JT turned up as the eight -ranked link on that term.

OK, so here's the thing, again.

 I'm of the opinion that each of us is entitled to their opinion, but I can genuinely say that I've never before seen the words Sally Magnusson and Milf nestle together in the same sentence. Maybe its just me, but Sally as a Milf? Really?

Incidentally, the gag-strewn feature to which the raker was directed, does mention, a genuine, 100%, Milf, IMOH, although weather wonder, Judith Ralston, is rapidly coming up on the rail-side.

 Its the glasses, oh God, the glasses...

  http://thejaggythistle.blogspot.co.uk/2009/12/hello-there.html 

From The Herald

"Alex Salmond has insisted an independent Scotland would seek to trade in Britain's Scottish-based nuclear arsenal for "something more useful" as part of a prolonged negotiation with the UK Government." The Herald, 19th July, 2012
Not coming to a newsagent's window near you, anytime soon:

The Perth Police Releaseth Steve.

Stephen, perfectly illustrating  two possible meanings of the term "wandering".

Perth Police this week released  naked rambler Stephen Gough. 
A spokesplod told The JT: "We've decided that there's no point us keeping locking him up. We do think he should be detained, but not necessarily by us. If you catch my drift..."
It is thought Stephen will simply continue to ramble, while rambling, naked.