Friday, 14 September 2012
Say what you like about Robbie Fuckin' Williams...
But, if the picture editor at The Hardup is to be believed, he not only sings he also designs clothes AND finds the time to moonlight as some Scottish poet I've never heard of having a go at Creative Scotland,an organisation that I have heard of unfortunately....
Inside: Eagle-eyed readers will no doubt recognise the provenance of the headline. "Robbie Fuckin' Williams- he can do no wrong" featured as a strip in Viz a few years back. As did a letter that sort of went "Robbie Williams expresses a desire to Let Me Entertain you. In your own time then Robbie..." The poet BTW is Don Paterson. Anyone?
Thursday, 13 September 2012
Tuesday, 11 September 2012
The world according to Craig
"In an ideal world, and I'm maybe a bit of an idealist, for our players to play at their best they need confidence. Confidence comes from results but it also comes from knowing people are backing you, supporting you."
Craig Levein, Scotland Manager, quoted in The Herald, 11th September 2012
Following Craig Levein's assertion in The Herald that confidence comes from winning and being supported we asked the Scotland manager to analyse the meaning of Andy Murray's grand-slam win at the US Open.
" There's been a lot said by you guys in the media how fantastic it is that Murray's been winning things. I mean, I know, its great and everything to win matches, but, and I'm maybe a bit of an idealist here, but what I've got to ask is, what does it mean to "win"?
I mean, OK, it sounded like the Scotland support were booing us aff the park on Saturday, but that's only because that's the way you guys in the media were listening.
I mean in tennis there's a fine line between winning and what I call non-winning.
I mean you guys in the media, with your pens and paper and computers might say its no called "non-winning", its called "losing".
See that's where I think you got it wrong. I mean look at your Murrays, Federerers and your Djockovics if you don't believe me.
I mean, look at the boy Murray losing to the boy Federer at Wimbledon and how he cried. He wisnae crying cause he "lost", in introverted commas, he was crying because the crowd in The Common at that match had lost confidence in him for no winning.
Do you see the difference?
And because the crowd weren't 100% behind him, that effected Murray's game and made it almost certain that he would lose again tae the boy Federer in the Olympics.
Which he didnae, but that's no really the point.
I mean, going into the match at Hampden with Macedonia, there's still 27 points play for!
And OK, maybe after tonight's game we might no have got any points, but so what? I can see the team "winning" , as you call it, up there, in the head. OK, maybe they don't win on the ground, but still.
As I've said, I'll be judged over time on results.
They'll maybe no be "results" the way you guys in the media understand them, but they'll be results the way the manager understands them and at the end of the day, its the manager's job, no the fans, no you guys in the media, to understand what the results are and be prepared to be judged by them.
Can I just conclude this press conference by saying that my agent wants bookers to know that I might be available to do panto this Xmas, depending on how results go.
Thank you."
Craig Levein, Scotland Manager, quoted in The Herald, 11th September 2012
Following Craig Levein's assertion in The Herald that confidence comes from winning and being supported we asked the Scotland manager to analyse the meaning of Andy Murray's grand-slam win at the US Open.
" There's been a lot said by you guys in the media how fantastic it is that Murray's been winning things. I mean, I know, its great and everything to win matches, but, and I'm maybe a bit of an idealist here, but what I've got to ask is, what does it mean to "win"?
I mean, OK, it sounded like the Scotland support were booing us aff the park on Saturday, but that's only because that's the way you guys in the media were listening.
I mean in tennis there's a fine line between winning and what I call non-winning.
I mean you guys in the media, with your pens and paper and computers might say its no called "non-winning", its called "losing".
See that's where I think you got it wrong. I mean look at your Murrays, Federerers and your Djockovics if you don't believe me.
I mean, look at the boy Murray losing to the boy Federer at Wimbledon and how he cried. He wisnae crying cause he "lost", in introverted commas, he was crying because the crowd in The Common at that match had lost confidence in him for no winning.
Do you see the difference?
And because the crowd weren't 100% behind him, that effected Murray's game and made it almost certain that he would lose again tae the boy Federer in the Olympics.
Which he didnae, but that's no really the point.
I mean, going into the match at Hampden with Macedonia, there's still 27 points play for!
And OK, maybe after tonight's game we might no have got any points, but so what? I can see the team "winning" , as you call it, up there, in the head. OK, maybe they don't win on the ground, but still.
As I've said, I'll be judged over time on results.
They'll maybe no be "results" the way you guys in the media understand them, but they'll be results the way the manager understands them and at the end of the day, its the manager's job, no the fans, no you guys in the media, to understand what the results are and be prepared to be judged by them.
Can I just conclude this press conference by saying that my agent wants bookers to know that I might be available to do panto this Xmas, depending on how results go.
Thank you."
Saturday, 8 September 2012
So Craig, cigarette or blindfold?
 |
| So Kenny, how's Vancouver working out for you? |
Craig interviewed in The Scotsman:"Judge me by results".
4.45pm today. Scotland played 11, won 3.
Wednesday, 5 September 2012
I don't normally re-cycle stuff here
apart from jokes obviously, but I'm making an exception to direct you to Harvey and Benedetti's reading of Leaving Lerwick Harbour. Enjoy soon because I've no doubt the joy-killers at The Beeb will be on the case so it may disappear soon.
Be quick! Be quick!
Be quick! Be quick!
Tuesday, 4 September 2012
And just
at the very moment when Alex started to describe the government's legislative programme, Christine and Nicola both found themselves distracted by a cat, lying on the floor of the chamber, nonchalantly cleaning its bollocks.
Sunday, 2 September 2012
From The BBC...
Fisherman escapes shark attack off Islay
The shark attacked Hamish Currie when his boat was off Islay
A fisherman has escaped a shark attack after his crew caught the animal off Islay in the Inner Hebrides.
The 7ft porbeagle took hold of Hamish Currie's steel toe-capped boot after the skipper hauled it on to the deck of his vessel.
Mr Currie, 53, from Saltcoats, Ayrshire, targeted the shark after hearing reports of it attacking seals.
Mr Currie later told The JT: "The one in the boat was big enough but you should've seen The Great White that attacked us as well. Massive fucker that was."
Under attack from The Great White, Mr Currie managed to fool the shark into swallowing a gas canister and then shooting the canister thus blowing the evil creature up. "It was like a scene from the movie Jaws," Mr Currie told us, "except it really definitely happened, and no one can prove otherwise."
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